Do These Shoes Make My Butt Look Big?

I love shoes and when I say I love shoes, I mean I love shoes. We're taking a Carrie Bradshaw-like relationship with footwear. I dig my sneakers and my Crocs (I've got three pairs) and I even like to wear socks on my hands. One of the only words I can say at this point is shoes, though it sounds a little more like "choose," but whatever. It this shoe fetish unnatural? Maybe. Unsavory? Not to this toddler.

But as much as I love my own shoes, I love other people's shoes a little bit more. When my Mommy, Daddy or any one who comes over leaves their kicks unattended, I'm all over them. My Daddy just so happened to take his running shoes off and, you guessed it, I pounced.

I think they look good, though they do make getting around a little tricky. What do you think?

P.S.: The popped collar was not my idea, just for the record as it may come up during future dealings with a shrink.

Stuffing Brother's Pooch

So if I haven't filled you in, I'm having a little brother. Mommy and Daddy went to the doctor to find out who was living in Mommy's tummy and the first thing they saw was some boy parts, so that means I'm having a brother, let's call him Cooper.

Mommy and Daddy recorded my brother's heartbeat and as soon as they got home we went to Build-A-Bear to make brother a dog. Grammy went with us because she came down from Ohio to watch me while my parents were at the doctors. I have one named Marley from before I was born so I helped stuff a doggy for Cooper named Duke and I even got to put a little heart inside of him. He's pretty awesome. If I had to grade out the level of stuffing inside of him, I'd say it ranks somewhere between perfection and awesomeness.

Jack's Movie Reviews: Toy Story 1 and 2

I'm no professional movie reviewer. I'll leave that up to the likes of Gene Shalit and Roger Ebert. But I do know a good flick when I see one, especially when I see it 35 times in one week and I'm here to tell you that if you haven't seen Toy Story and Toy Story 2 you should walk, nay run, to your local video retailer and grab the set.

We're talking Woody, we're talking Rex, we're talking Mr. Potato Head and most importantly, we're talking Buzz Lightyear. My speaking isn't up to the same level as my typing, so currently I refer to Buzz as Bobos. Not quite sure why it comes out like that, but I know what I'm trying to say. It's a touching set of movies about what it means to love and what it means to cherish the things you have in your life. I've got a blanket, a box of toys and mommy and daddy. Oh, and apparently a little brother on the way.

Anyway, I'm now fairly certain that all my toys come to life when I go to sleep. It's funny, the two movies that my parents typically have me watch include possesed toys and monsters living in my closet (Monsters, Inc.). At least I know a jumping off point when I go to see a shrink when I'm in my 30s.

I feel compelled to give my review of the two Toy Story flicks and we'll do it by the amount of time I yell Bobos at the screen while it's on so Toy Story 1 gets an 18 and Toy Story 2 earns a 22.

When It Comes To Donuts, I'm Glazed Over

So Mom and Dad took me to Dunkin' Donuts and I have to say it, I'm hooked on their glazed goodness.

It's in the way the sugar touches my lips. It's in the way I can't help but get the glaze all over my face. If eating donuts is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Thinking I couldn't handle an entire donut, Dad bought me donut holes. Not a fan. When will this guy realize I'm a man, baby? I am going to be a big brother, after all.