My Obsession ... Peanut Butter

Hello, my name is Jack and I'm an addict. My parents unwittingly let the beast out of its cage in giving me a taste of peanut butter. It was just a spoon-full, but it was enough. Now I want it on EVERYTHING. We're talking bread, waffles, my finger, anything I can get them to put it on ... I have to have it.

I can actually taste it right now; that smooth, smooth consistency, that rich, creamy taste. It's like God came down and placed that sweet nectar into that Jiff jar just for me. Who am I to deny divine intervention?

My parents said that after doing some soul-searching that they've come to the conclusion that they're enabling my addition. They say they're going to ween my off the PB slowly, a little bit at a time. Why should I be denied this sweet source of protein? If you haven't caught on, this isn't really the ramblings of an addict; it's actually a plea for help. Don't let them do this to me. Don't let them take away the one thing I'd trade a warm bottle of milk for.

Help me. My name's Jack and I love peanut butter.